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This is a response post to 'Why do people think women in their 30's have a hard time dating?' This is not an 'omg feel sorry for me' post. I just wanted to shed some light on much of what that thread what talking about, as well as the myth/reality that men want women ages 18-21(22). Sure, physically. And I want to start genuine conversation about it.
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That's what I'm here to talk about/discuss. Unless you're looking to go on as many dates as possible and not settle, finding a serious relationship via OkCupid at this age is actually kind of difficult, especially if you're dating older men with a significant age gap. These are the older men that have the 12 year younger age range, and some are truly stand up guys in their own ways. But that age range isn't as 'honest' as they'd lead you to believe. Here's a few factors:
First: not every women in the 18-22 age range is hot. It doesn't magically make you hot to be this age. Your skin is firmer, and you're impervious to a lot of shit that will hurt later on because your body is strong. But if you eat like shit and don't exercise, your genetics won't always save you. And sometimes you still look like a child, especially in your late teens. I've seen friends who only began to peak attraction-wise in their early 20s, who I suspect will look great at 30- men and women alike.
Second: these mythical 'older men' who want a women in this age range just want a fuck and chuck. This is a group of naive women, some of whom genuinely believe this could lead to something serious, but the reality is these men don't want someone that much younger for a girlfriend/wife/partner. They just want an attractive bed warmer/fun date.
Third- So who do these mythical older men want a relationship with? Someone closer to their own age. Why? Because these women are more likely to, and in many cases have: a career started/working and not in school, their shit together, confidence, they no longer live at home and may even have their own place, have a sense of who they are and know what they want. Sure, you can have those things early on, but it's a lot rarer. Those guys who've peaked? Yeah, they want younger, but no, they don't want this much younger. They want women in their mid-late 20s/early 30s or grad students. Not me or someone my age.
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Four- Ageism. Some guys in their late 20s-30s are ashamed to introduce a woman that much younger because of the flack they'll get from their friends. To them, no one in this age range is suitable girlfriend material. For a man in his early 30s, 5 or less is probably the sweet spot to dudes giving him crap.
Five- personality. A lot of women in this age range are immature, silly, sexually inexperienced, still in school, don't even know the world yet. Most would put up with that if she's super hot, but not every girl in their early twenties is hot. A lot are actually still awkward because they still haven't peaked yet.
Six & last: Everyone has trouble dating. Every guy wants to find reasons not to date someone. The truth is, you're just not the right fit for him.
So keep working on you and be the best you that you can be. Take care of yourself and age will be a more minor issue.
TL;DR: A lot of those men with twelve year age ranges who say they want to date 12 years younger really only want to FUCK 12 years younger, not have a serious relationship with them.
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Discuss: Your own experiences, this post, your thoughts.
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Obviously this is not the story for every woman and it's not exhaustively concise- for one thing, I didn't mention all the attention women this age get and what it actually amounts to. I'd love to hear stories of the opposite side, but many of the success stories I've seen don't involve a woman in this age range seriously dating a much older man unless she is very advanced in personality/life for her age.