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So you’ve been dating a guy for a few months, and now you can’t help but find yourself asking the ultimate question,“How serious is he about us?” It’s perfectly normal to want to know what your boyfriend (is he your boyfriend? You’re not even sure!) is feeling about your relationship, and if you two are on the same page. Men typically are not upfront about their feelings, at least not verbally. One main difference between men and women is communication. Women tend to be great verbal communicators, while men communicate through action.
Use @ in the body of a message or meeting invite. In the body of the email message or calendar invite, enter the @ symbol and the first few letters of the contact's first or last name. When Outlook offers you one or more suggestions, choose the contact you want to mention. By default, the contact's full name is included. What happens to a lot couples when dating is they fall into dating activities—movies, concerts, eating out, partying with friends on weekends, lots of drinking, lots of sex—and downtime is. Hinge is built on the belief that anyone looking for love should be able to find it. It’s also built on an acclaimed Nobel-Prize-winning algorithm, so we can succeed in getting you out on promising dates, not keeping you on the app.
Without having to have ‘The Talk’ (because that can be awkward) here are some surefire signs that he’s serious about you.
1. He calls you every day.
As mentioned above, guys aren’t awesome at verbally communicating. Typically, they use phone calls or text messages to relay information, not to chitchat. But if your guy is calling you regularly to see how your day is going or just to hear your voice, then he’s most likely a keeper.
2. He makes plans with you in advance.
A guy who’s serious about you wants to see you so badly that he wants to lock down your dates ahead of time. He doesn’t want to risk you making plans without him on your Saturday night, which is why he texts you on the Tuesday beforehand to make dinner plans. Also, if he talks about going to a concert two months away, then you know he’s thinking long-term.
- Most people don’t take this approach and that’s why dating can feel so stressful and overwhelming. You can’t just be, instead you try to be what you think the other person wants. The best approach is to go in without an image of them, and without wanting to seem a certain way in their eyes.
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3. He invites you to stay over, even when you’re not hooking up.
When a guy is really into you, he wants to have you around him as often as possible, and not just for sex. That means that even if he’s totally wiped out or knows you’re not “in the mood,” he still wants to hang out with you and make it strictly a Netflix, without the chill, night.
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4. He remembers everything you say.
A man who’s really into a woman will remember basically everything she says. That’s because he not only wants to impress you, but if there’s an opportunity for him to go above and beyond, he will. Case in point? He remembers that you had a job interview and calls you later that day to ask you how it went. Or you mentioned you loved chocolate chip mint ice cream, and he comes to your apartment with a pint of it. Winner!
5. He shares old photos and stories with you.
Guys often don’t want to show their weaknesses or any sign of awkwardness to their dates. So if he’s showing you old high school pics of his bowl cut and braces, then not only does he want you to know him more intimately, he also trusts you.
6. He chooses you over his buddies.
Guys love their guy time, so if he’s forgoing time with his buds for you, then you know he’s super into you. And if he’s taking you to his fave basketball team’s game and not one of his buds? Yeah, it’s serious.
7. He wants to help you.
Men like to be of service, which is why they help out people they care about whenever they can. That’s how they prove their usefulness. It’s a caveman thing. So if your man is going out of his way to help without you having to ask, whether it’s moving or repairing something, then you can be sure that he really likes you.
8. He asks you to go away with him.
Make no mistake: spending 24/7 with a significant other is big step in any relationship. So if your guy invites you to go away for a weekend trip to the mountains, or even a week-long trip to the beach, then that’s a major indication he’s thinking long-term with you.
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If you’ve used a dating app, you’ll know the importance of choosing good profile pics.
These photos don’t just relay attractiveness; a recent study suggested that 43% of people think they can get a sense of someone’s personality by their picture. You might guess that someone who has included a photo of themselves hiking is an outdoorsy type of person.
But as scientistswho study human-animal interactions, we wanted to know what this meant for pet owners – in particular, male cat owners.
If you’re a guy who owns a cat, what kind of effect does it have on suitors if you post a picture posing with your favorite feline?
Prior studies suggested that women do judge a potential male partner based on whether he has pets. While they favor men with dogs, the results showed that they also give men with cats an edge over non-pet owners.
Because of this, we reasoned that men pictured with cats would probably be viewed as more attractive and desirable than men who didn’t pose with any animals.
In our study, we recruited 1,388 heterosexual American women from 18 to 24 years old to take a short anonymous online survey. In the survey, we presented them with photos of one of two young white men in their early 20s either posing alone or with a cat. To avoid biasing the women’s responses, we randomly presented which photo they saw first. Each participant only rated one man, with and without a cat.
Each time the participants saw a photo, we asked them to rate the man pictured on several personality attributes, including his masculinity, femininity and dateability. We also asked the women if they defined themselves as a “cat person,” “dog person,” “neither” or “both.”
Most of the women found the men holding cats to be less dateable. This result surprised us, since previous studies had shown that women found men with pets to have higher potential as partners. They also thought the men holding cats were less extroverted and more neurotic, agreeable and open. Importantly, they saw these men as less masculine, too.
This last point may explain our findings.
Prior research suggests that women often seek masculine men – both in terms of physical appearance and behaviors. So the fact that women in our study found the photo of the man alone more masculine and more dateable supports the idea that women are likely to look first for clues related to masculinity when determining dateability.
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We suspect old cultural norms may be playing a role in the responses. Past research suggests that male femininity and homosexuality are still perceived to be connected. Since cats are sometimes associated more closely with female owners – and therefore, considered a feminine pet – posing with cats may have primed the women taking our survey to default to this outdated trope, despite some popular media efforts to elevate the status of male cat owners.
Alternatively, the perception of male cat owners as less extroverted and more neurotic, agreeable and open may have nudged our respondents to put these men in the “friend zone.” In other words, perhaps seeing a man pose with the cat suggests he might be a better confidant than date.
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It’s important to note that whether the women identified themselves as “cat people,” “dog people,” “both” or “neither” affected their perceptions. Women who self-identified as “cat people” were more inclined to view the men pictured with cats as more dateable or say they had no preference.
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Of course, like any research, our work has its limitations. Our sample is a very specific population – heterosexual, primarily white women, aged 18 to 24 years and living in the United States. We don’t know how these results would change if we surveyed, say, bisexual or gender-fluid women, men interested in men or individuals from different cultural backgrounds.
And that’s the best part. This is a new, growing area of research, and it’s only one of a handful of potential studies on the relationship between pet ownership and first impressions on dating apps. This means we have our work cut out for us.
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But in the meantime, if heterosexual men are looking to get a match, it’s probably a good idea if they save showing off their photos with their favorite felines for the first or second date.